Why was I laughing about that?

To keep from crying! I recently went on a business trip to Connecticut. My male coworker (Mike) and I were scheduled to arrive Monday evening and depart Wednesday afternoon. Arrive we did. Depart we did. This is the part where I would have definitely been sobbing had I been traveling alone.

Oddly, the one flight that was on time was the Charlotte to Home flight - the last one out for the night. We arrived at that gate while the plane was still there, but the door was closed. Not.Gonna.Happen. Fortunately, our travel agency handled our lodging and further travel smoothly. Unfortunately, our toothbrushes and (more importantly) toothpaste were in our checked bags. We arrived at our hotel, and the hilarity started.
1. Mike and I stepped to the counter at the same time since our bookings had been made at the same time. Sometimes it makes things easier for the agent, sometimes it makes things awkward. This time it was awkward. The agent handed Mike 2 keys to his room and started going about her business. He said, "And my coworker needs to check in too."
2. Mike also asked about toothbrushes and toothpaste and the like since ours were checked. The agent perkily informed us that they had toothbrushes, but no toothpaste, but the convenience store "up-the-hill" would have some for sure. It was late, so we sat down for dinner then ventured out for some toothpaste. Oddly, we chose not to deposit our computer bags in our rooms first.
3. We set out for the convenience store and noticed that the hill had recently been excavated to removed some type of equiment. The only passable area to walk was a little muddy. I remarked that we needed to be very careful because we were already going to smell homeless, so we didn't need to look like it too. (Cue creepy foreshadowing music.)
4. The convenience store 'for sure' did NOT have toothpaste, so I bought gum. There was no other place in sight to procure the necessaries.
5. I also needed tampons since my extra ones were checked in my other baggage. When I asked for the tampons, the non-native English speaker looked where I pointed and started trying to hand me various packages of condoms. I could not contain my giggles, and Mike had to walk away to stifle his own. To facilitate the transaction, I said, "The BLUE box, please."
6. As Mike and I were walking back to the hotel and LAUGHING about our convenience store experience, wondering how we would explain purchasing condoms on the company card (but Boss, we were STRANDED!), I fell on the muddy hill. Karma.
7. Mike was USELESS. He was doubled over laughing. I couldn't even walk I was laughing so hard because REALLY? Did that just happen? Yes it did, and we still were not back to the hotel. I had to walk through the lobby with my muddy arse!!
8. I flung my computer bag over my shoulder and a little behind me, and Mike walked behind me. I had to keep my right hand in a fist because it was full of mud. I couldn't even relax in the elevator because it was an interior glass elevator!
9. The worst of the mud rinsed out, and the gum saved my breath. We got home safely the next day, and I remembered to take pictures.